Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
