he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
