tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am one with the molecules
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
