dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
