please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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