I think I died a long time ago.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
