I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
