Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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