yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
