things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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