Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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