i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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