69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
