Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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