I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
