the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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