Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
