(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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