so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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