Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
