is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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