Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
