READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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