worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My vagina just recognized that song.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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