Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
