I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
