so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
