my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
