he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
