i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize