I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
