wanna go halves on a baby?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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