Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
