I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
