Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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