We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well you can't waste a boner
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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