he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize