Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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