the condom got lost in my hair
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not ubering you a puppy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
