Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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