ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
