Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
40s are totally the cure
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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