At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
