Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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