First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
