the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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