At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
