well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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