we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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