K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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