i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Still dying that you shit outside
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
