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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'

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• (631): View more from New York

  So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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• (619): View more from California

  I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries

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• (650): View more from California

  He's petting your head, we need to leave now.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?

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