dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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