im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
