i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
