11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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