JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
