I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
