I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
