so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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