I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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