so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
