Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
