And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
