scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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