so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
