i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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