Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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