____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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